In the year leading up to my birthday several people asked me how I felt about turning thirty. They always did it with that gleam in their eye. The gleam that revealed they expected their rather melodramatic young friend to give them a good show of grief and remorse for the loss of her youth.
I'm afraid I rather failed them, shame on me missing a chance to perform, but the simple fact of the matter is I have long looked forward to FINALLY turning thirty. After all these years, frustratingly stuck in my twenties, I'm free.
At last, a full adult, still physically young and full of life, but grown up at the same time. No longer when my age is asked do people stop listening when I say "I'm twe....." for I am not. I'm thirty. I am no longer in that purportedly carefree and energetic decade, no longer lumped with a ten year span of peers who freely use youth as an excuse for gross errors.
I am thirty! I'm in the decade that people write for themselves, the decade where you begin to live the life you have formed for yourself. The decade where you get to know your kids as people and not mini-me dolls that ruin your sleep. The decade where you settle into the rhythm of being alive.
It is such a relief to finally be here, finally at an age that seems to match where my soul has been all along. I'm finally at an age where the battle scars are part of the costume, introspection is socially allowed, and just wanting to experience the real things in life isn't so unusual. I'm no where near "over the hill" I'm just high enough up on the slope to have a really nice view.
So if anyone is thinking I'm secretly bemoaning the loss of my twenties and feeling old, you couldn't be more wrong. I love it. I love being thirty and I'm looking forward to forty now. These are going to be some great years. I'm going to learn so much, experience so much, love so much. I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Come on thirties, what have you got for me?
10 comments:
Wow, Thora, I completely agree with you in every way!! I'm 28 and I keep telling my family and friends I can't WAIT to turn 30 for the very reasons you stated!
Rock on and happy Birthday!!
You're so awesome! My hubby turns 30 next week, and I'm excited for him. :)
I have a close friend who felt much the same as you. When I wept and wailed about the loss of my youth, he laughed and said he'd always look forward to a decade when he'd be considered a "real adult". I suppose he's right. The secret (and torturous) letdown, however, is that even if you fully embrace your 30s, thinking you've reached an undeniable, long-unreachable plateau of maturity, some people in their 40s and 50s will still treat you like a child, because they can take the way-back machine further than you can.
And for some inexplicable reason, I still find myself thinking that things that happened around the time of my high school graduation (*cough*, a full 18 years ago next month) are very recent... even though I wasn't yet 18 years OLD at the time! Why is that? Perhaps it's because I, too, was a very old soul, feeling 30 at 16. Or maybe, just maybe, the sad truth is that we all do it, and someday, I'll be 70, looking at the 80-year-olds and still thinking how young I am by comparison. LOL
I'm glad that my hubby is turning the big 30. I am hoping people stop thinking that I robbed the craddle! (He's 5 years older than me! Not fair!)
Love you!
Happy 3oth. I'm already enjoying it.
What is the line? "Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving!"?
This is exactly how I felt about thirty. So well put.
What a great way to look at it. I HATE telling people how old I am, they are always shocked and expect me to be older and that drives me nuts. Maybe I'll feel differently when I turn 30.
I'm going to copy & send this to everyone and their dog that I know turning 30, this year and every year the rest of my life.
You are brilliant. So glad I stumbled upon your musings...we seem to have a few things in common, too.
Thank you, thank you! I am fast approaching my 30th next week and feel the same way.
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