Saturday, November 19, 2011

Nothing to say

I'm sitting here at the library. The kids are lost in the children's section. I may have to send a search party soon. I have Internet, I have my laptop, and I have nothing to say.
Well... nothing positive anyway, nothing worthy of saying. I could say a lot of things about a certain someone who takes delight in hurting me and, even worse, hurting the kids. I won't say them though because there is no point in putting more darkness out in the world... and besides he is having me blog stalked. (Ludicrous I know! Oh the things he can talk people into, lol.)
So I sit here biting my tongue, wishing I had something of value to contribute to the world, wishing... wishing oh so many many things... but I suppose I shall be content that right now, this one small instant, my children are not fighting each other, they are not fighting me, and that the house at home is reasonably clean so I can just spend time with the kids today.
They really are my favorite people in the whole wide world.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

My Theory on Dinosaurs

The other night the kids at work were all about dinosaurs… well really all about debating if a T-rex and a komodo dragon of the same size got into it which would win… but I digress. I got out the big book on dinosaurs and we spent some time going through the pages looking at different dinosaurs. Feathered and scaled, plated and spiked, long long claws that weren’t at all sharp, the book kept relaying that “scientists think” that this was how such and such dinosaur used its various body parts, though they can’t be sure.
I was thinking about that afterward and had to wonder… were dinosaurs like spirit pre-school for us? Maybe that’s why dinosaurs are such a fascinating thing for little ones… because they remember them from before.
I have this picture in my mind of sitting down with Heavenly Father one afternoon and making a dinosaur together.
“Okay, Thora, what kind of dinosaur do you want to make today?” He asks as he pulls me up on His knee.
“A big one!” I say.
“A big one, as big as your brother’s T-Rex?” He asks with a grin.
“No, much, much bigger!” I tell Him.
“Oh double-much bigger, like this?” He asks.
“Okay, now what should your dinosaur look like?”
“Umm… a long long tail and a long long neck,” I say in that cute little girl voice of mine.
“Long tail, long neck, anything else?” He asks forming my dinosaur before my eyes.
“Put the nose on top of the head!”
“On top of the head? But why?” He asks with a laugh.
“So when it goes swimming it can always breathe,” I say matter of factly.
He twists His mouth to the side and looks at the dinosaur we have formed, “Well we have a problem there, Thora. If we make it as big as this, for it to go under water it would go very deep, and the water pressure would make it impossible for it to breath, even with the nose up on top.”
“Oh,” I say disappointedly.
“So do you want the size, or the nose on top?” He asks after I have had a moment to consider.
“Just tell it not to go swimming,” I decide.
“Okay, are we leaving the nose on top then?” He asks me.
“Yeah, it looks cute like that,” I say, and of course, because I designed it and we made it together, my loving Heavenly Father leaves my dinosaur that way and thinks it looks cute too.
Of course I know this is insane speculation and merely a flight of fancy, but still… something in this rings true, if only the fact that Heavenly Father once, or a million times, took time for just Him and me, because He loves me, and He’s a good Dad like that. And really, what else matters?

Sunday, November 06, 2011

The Mountain

This will be a little hard to enter from my phone... but what better thing is there to do when you are sick at home on The Sabbath?


I came unto a mountain on the straight and narrow way
And thought the Lord would move it, for it did block my way.
I raised my voice on high and when my prayer was through,
Beheld the mountain with a sigh, and knew not what to do.

Perhaps if not to remove it, He wanted me to find,
A way around this mountain, a shortcut to behind.
Up to the foot I walked and looked far left and right,
But found the paths fraught with perils that by now I knew at sight.

There was no going around it, and no whisking it away,
So I started to climb that mountain a little bit each day.
At first I slipped with every step for the path was buried in sand,
But when I sunk my feet down to the bedrock I was sure enough to stand.

Once upon the slopes I could no longer judge or see
How much further up the mountain that was taxing all of me.
Still I knew from trials past, that all trials have an end,
And every trial brings me closer to the Friend at journey's end.

I came unto a place where the path was all hemmed in
By rugged walls unrelenting, a strait way very thin.
I grumbled all the way through it, how narrow was the way,
How a person needed more elbow room, or at least a little say!

Then I looked back and learned, to my gratitude and shame,
While I bemoaned the boundaries, they protected me all the same.
For steeps and slides and dangers did lie on every side,
And the horrors of those dangers those sturdy walls did hide.

So now I trust this path, and up this mountain climb.
I begrudge it not the steepness or the lengthiness of time.
I just climb each day, placing foot, over foot, over hand,
And I've begun to wonder what happens when at the peak I stand.

Do I find a great plateau, or perhaps a downward slide?
Will I find another mountain, to test her already tried?
Do I slide freely down the other side, a brief thrill after my long try,
Or feet planted on the pinnacle, will I mount up and fly?