Friday, March 19, 2010

Who I was ten years ago

Someone threw the questions out: "Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? Have you changed?"
Naturally this caused a bit of reflection, and I thought I'd post my thoughts here so they don't get lost.

I'm not very old, I'll be 31 next month, but I find as I age I'm kind of making a circle and coming back to be the person I was when I was very little. I'm re-learning to trust God more completely, to think well of people in the world, to love everyone, to think vividly, to give with my whole heart.
Elementary school kind of messed me up, sigh.
When I complete this circle I'll be older, more seasoned, but my ultimate goal is to get to the point where the real me is out there for all to see and not buried under all these layers of pain, sin, and worldly things. She's here inside me, and she is who I really am, I'm just not being faithful to who I am because I've let the world jade me.
There are things in my past that I am ashamed of, sigh, there are things from a few hours ago, yesterday, the day before that, I wish I hadn't done or had done better.
The thing that encourages me is that regret. It means that even though I'm not doing everything right, my intentions and desires are good, I still hunger and thirst after righteousness.
That hunger is the real me, she has always been there, and I'm proud to be her.


JerieH said...

I really, really hope that I am not the same person as ten years ago. In fact I live in semi-fear that I will run into someone from that time... and that they would think of me the same.

Thora said...

I hope all of us allow others the benefit of doubt when it comes to growing out of our teens.
I was so lost then, better to assume everyone else was too, right?

Anna said...

Letting other people see the real you? How does that work? I don't think I hide myself much. But I don't think people can really see me either. That is a difficult thing to do I think. Be proud of your efforts.