If I go crazy

If I go crazy in the next couple of weeks it's for a very good reason.

No, it's not the end of summer maddness.

No, my kids have not driven me over the edge.

No, it's not my job/volunteer work.

No, it's not my dirty house.

I'm just waiting to hear from one of the best reputed book agencies in the business, and they give a four week window for a response.

Yes, my book is finished. It's been done for a few weeks now, and I've had two people go through and edit it. After changing all the "to/too"s I spent a week at my keyboard writing the query letter and synopsis. It took about an hour to get up the guts to hit send when I emailed the agents. I had to tell a friend on IM I was sending it, and she basically held my hand from across the sea as I willed my self to make that final click.

I've spent so long NOT telling people all about my book that it made me feel pretty vulnerable to nicely wrap it up and throw it to the sharks. Sink or swim little book. Sink or swim hours of research, late nights at the keyboard, characters I know like no-one else will, and intricate world that sprung from my heart.

I don't even get to watch it like I watch my kids in swim class. It's just gone, out there, completely out of my hands for the next 1 to 28 days.

So I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying not to compulsively check my email too.

In that effort I went and spent way to much on fabric for Halloween costumes today (yes I know it's July, haven't you gotten started yet?). If you've ever taken three kids to a monstrously huge fabric store I'm sure you can guess that I didn't think about my book the entire time I was there. But the 115 minutes there and 140 minutes back? I thought about it, so I turned up the music and chair danced in the traffic jam, much to the amusement of the other drivers.

But now I'm home, and the envelope symbol on my yahoo mail icon is lit up.... ooh is it? Is it? No... it's Amazon with a sale on music to dance to in my car. To bad I just spent so much on fabric.

I think I'll go sew, or bead, or clean, or eat, or dance. Anything really to keep me busy...

while I think about it.